I liked this quote because it provides an example of something I’ve found hard to explain: the difference between a skill and a competency. In this case, the skill is knowing which fork is which. Competence refers to the cluster of abilities, knowledge, skills, temperament, etc. required for a role.
Competence in manners would involve not only knowing table settings, but other, fuzzier abilities — like understanding how to best to convey such knowledge. For example, with someone who appears unsure when faced with an array of utensils, one could show empathy with their plight, something like: ”I know how you feel. Someone showed me this trick about starting with the utensils on the outside….”