Resentments and Doghouses

From my recent tag surfing spree, here’s a post from Barry Zweibel on making sure that one’s doghouse doesn’t get too full (here … hat tip: Your Executive Edge here).  His first paragraphs set up the story well:

We get mad. We get cranky. We judge. We blame. We put people on ice. Send them to Siberia. Put them in the doghouse. And there they stay, sometimes for a very looooooong time….  So, if you’re thinking that your doghouse needs a room addition this spring, maybe it’s a good time to take stock of who’s in there and when they might be up for parole.

Barry follows with five tips on when to know that it is time to turn the page, open the doghouse gate, etc.  My favorite is number five, which warns against righteous indignation taking control of one’s spirit.  Justifiable resentments corrode my soul in subtle ways, so I must let go of them as soon as possible because:

1. They are justifiable so I am clearly right and someone else is clearly wrong, which is most satisfying to this Myers-Briggs INFJ or INTJ (more on that transformation in a future post, but I am still a strong “J,” for sure).
2. They can be replayed again and again with more-than-perfect fidelity (I seem to have a kind of Dolby noise reduction that eliminates the noise of my part in the matter).
3. They let someone or something live in my head and heart…rent-free no less.

Finally, I’m reminded of a version of the St. Francis Prayer that opposes vices with virtues very neatly — error vs. truth, despair vs. hope, hatred vs. love — save for one vice.  Wrong is to be countered, not by right, but by the spirit of forgiveness.