Don’t miss the inaugural… fresh list of leave excuses

Do you want the day off to watch the inaugural?  Yes you can!  As a public service, one of the better leave excuse lists I’ve seen is here and reproduced below.

Employee didn’t want to lose the parking space in front of his house.
Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.
Employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was “all better now.”
Employee donated too much blood.
Employee’s dog was stressed out after a family reunion.
Employee was kicked by a deer.
Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
Employee’s wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.
Employee’s toe was injured when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.

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